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I never know what to write here. Well, here goes..... I have an IQ of one billion. I have discovered the Theory of Everything but I'm the only one who understands it. I am the cosmological constant that holds the very fabric of the universe together. Bill Gates is wealthy because I give him my spare change. I own the universe. I am Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds. I have broken every sports record...EVER. Arnold got his physique from doing my laundry. I am so rich I actually loaned the Earth to humanity. All of my past lovers are immortal and immune to disease from their encounters with me. Angelina Jolie settled for Brad Pitt because I wasn't interested. Megan Fox is a government experiment to try and make an ugly version of me. I build large suspension bridges with my bare hands. I can throw tennis rackets with deadly accuracy. I beat up Chuck Norris AND Mr. T to relax. Bruce Lee lived in fear of me. Prince is one of my pubic hairs gone rogue. Johnny Depp was once lint in my belly button. I have a 10G cellphone. I've read every book in the world. Twice. And, I can cook a 20 minute brownie in 10 minutes. I'm Batman.

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